Black dog rhymes

I’ve just written a pretty depressing poem. Can’t remember the last time I wrote one.

I’ll spare you the actual poem. It’s nothing special. It’s a variation on a theme, a poem I’ve written in some form or another many times over the years.

I have no idea why I find myself going back to poetry in moments like that. I suppose it’s some sort of fall back to all those notebooks I filled with angst-ridden poems when I was in my teens.

Moments like what? Well, I’ll tell you.

Moments that happen when you think you’re having a perfectly okay day, moments when a wave of despondency washes over you and for little bit you’re not sure whether or not it might just carry you away. Moments that can be triggered by something or pretty much nothing. If you’ve ever grappled with depression you’ll know exactly the kind of moment I mean. And I had one today. 

Not sure whether writing the poem made me feel better or worse. (It was, as I said, a pretty fucking depressing poem.) I guess it just helped me accept the moment.

This is going to be the first entry I’ve filed under Black Dog Diary in a while. I’m not going to make it password protected and I am going to tag it “depression”, because I know that was the tag that led some people to find this site. And this is for those people, just to say, “Christ, these moments suck, don’t they?”