Unbelievable Part 2

I know I’ve said this before and I’m quite confident I’ll say it again, but you really couldn’t make this shit up. No one would believe you.

Before I start today’s rant, I know you’re probably asking where “Unbelievable Part 1” is. Well, if I’d had any idea last week what was coming this week, that’s what I would have called my piece about Blackfacegate.

This week the UK High Court ruled that Boris Johnson’s prorogation of Parliament had been illegal.

The first story to pop up on my newsfeed about the ruling was written by my pal Owen, the legal affairs correspondent for the Guardian. I immediately sent him a link to the video above. When he wrote back to thank me for the “uplifting schadenfreude” he commented that at least Trudeau apologises. (As I said in my reply, kinda hard not to apologise for blackface. Meanwhile we’re still waiting for an apology for pressing his then attorney general to drop a prosecution against a company flagrantly guilty of foreign corruption. But that’s another story.)

Forced back into the House of Commons, Bojo illustrated how well he’d do in a limbo competition, sinking to a new low by invoking the name of Jo Cox. He had the unmitigated gall to claim the best way to honour the memory of the murdered Labour MP was by sorting out Brexit once and for all. Say what? Ms Cox, a staunch Remainer during the run up to the 2016 referendum, was killed in the street by a deranged and delusional man who’d been whipped into a frenzy by the poisonous rhetoric of Johnson and Nigel Farage.

Whatever next? Perhaps he’ll claim that Nelson Mandela or Mother Theresa or (even better) Princess Diana comes to him in his dreams, begging him to get the UK out of the EU.

I remember saying to a friend who was visiting from London last month, “You know, chaps, this whole Brexit thing is a real dog’s breakfast. I wonder if there’s any way we could possibly make it worse? Oh, I know. Let’s make Boris Johnson prime minister!”

His ascension to the highest office in the land (not counting the queen, of course) drew inevitable comparisons in the world media with Trump. There certainly are similarities – and not just ridiculous hair. Both men are venal and excruciatingly self-serving, but, unlike Trump (and as much as it pains me to admit it), Johnson does actually have a brain.

He knows exactly what he is doing. He is furiously fanning the flames of division in the UK, knowing full well that leaving the EU at all – let alone with no deal – will be a disaster for British citizens. And I suspect he is doing it all for his own entertainment.

Boris Johnson is an arrogant prick and I hope he rots in hell.