“Good”

Yesterday morning (well, afternoon) I got out of bed, had a shower and then printed seven words in caps in my journal: I WILL NOT PLAY SPIDER SOLITAIRE TODAY. Then I switched the computer on to write my first blog entry in some time. It started pretty much the same way this entry did. After the printed words I wrote “Let’s see how that goes.”

And that was all it took, typing the word “let’s”. Suddenly I was off on a tangent about grammar. My first proper rant since November. I finished that, posted it, then got ready to go to the village to do some shopping. Even before I left the house, I could feel an unfamiliar bounce in my step. In the food store I ran into two people I know, both of whom asked me how I was. To both I replied, “Good.” Not okay or not bad or pretty good. Good.

My head nodded as I said the word. There might even have been a smile. It was true. I did feel good. After nearly a fortnight of feeling completely shite. Worst case of inertia ever. Completely incapable of hauling myself off the sofa. Completely incapable of stopping myself playing stupid fucking spider solitaire. Who knew the power of bad grammar to inspire?

Now, if I can just get myself out of bed before noon, get some of that housework done, learn my lines in the one-act play, get some exercise…

One step at a time.