Sneak preview

Argh. After Catherine left this morning I started reading. Now it is suddenly time to go out for the evening and I haven’t written a post today. So instead you get a sneak preview of the play I will get back to writing if I ever learn my panto lines. Here you go…

SCENE 1

The home of Stephen and Kate. The set is their conservatory, which contains two comfortable chairs with a small side table between them and a small round table with two chairs. There are also two or three potted palm trees. At lights up, STEPHEN is sitting in one of the comfy chairs, reading a copy of New Scientist. KATE enters, carrying a tablecloth and some cutlery. She places the cutlery on one of the chairs, flaps the tablecloth and places it on the table. She moves the cutlery to the table.

KATE Little help here?

STEPHEN Hmm? (He looks up from the magazine, sees what she’s doing and gets up to help her) Absolutely. You know how very much I’m looking forward to this evening. (He starts to lay out cutlery. Although there are only two chairs, he is setting the table for three.)

KATE Darling, I need to ask you a favour.

STEPHEN Oh, yes?

KATE No, let me rephrase that. You like a good challenge, don’t you, Stephen? I know you do. (Stephen looks at her, interested.) Do you think you could go an hour tonight without being sarcastic?

STEPHEN (laughs) Do you want me to stop breathing?

KATE If that’s the only way, but surely you could manage it with breathing?

STEPHEN With Henry here? I doubt it. He’s a complete and utter wanker.

KATE Yes, darling, I know he is, but he’s also my boss now. So play nice. Please.

STEPHEN Play nice with the wanker who got the job you’d be ten times better at? I still don’t understand how that came to be.

KATE Because he’s a man. Plus ca change. The same reason you got head of department over Gillian, who’s ten times smarter than you.

STEPHEN I wouldn’t say ten times.

KATE Five?

STEPHEN   Fair enough.

KATE And because it’s now an American-owned company and he’s a Yank.

STEPHEN Another reason to take the piss out of him. He probably voted for the Tangerine Wankmaggot.

KATE Quite possibly. So that’s enough of Wankmaggots for tonight. If you must mention the President, his name is Trump.

STEPHEN You know I cannot put the words President and Trump in the same sentence. Damn, I just did.

KATE Then don’t mention him at all. Which would be a bit of a blessing.