Repeat after me

“That’s right. He set up a situation. He’s in a jam. You can’t consummate your marriage. Don’t you get it? You’re supposed to save Arthur! He’s waiting to see. You’re not supposed to stay home and blow your nose and wait for news. This bizarre evil psychiatrist character has stolen Arthur’s socks. I mean the set-up is there! Arthur is testing you! Or probably better yet, Arthur is fulfilling your prophecy, the reason you chose Arthur! You’re too strong Lucille! You’re too gorgeous and too strong and too smart to stay home while somebody else goes out and kicks down the door between you and a vigorous marriage!”

That’s it. That’s the 45 second speech which is completely defeating me. However hard I try to memorise it, I am defeated.

I went to last night’s rehearsal confident I’d broken its back, but I was wrong. I got as far as consummation and my head went blank. It’s not the longest speech I have. Opening night is in six days. What the hell is it about this bloody speech?

On a brighter note…

For the first time ever someone managed to take a rehearsal photo of me that I don’t actually hate. With “hubby”, mate and manly man Paul.