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Can I really be doing this?

October 22, 2016

This feels about as lame as lame can be, but what the hell.


I suspect most people find it difficult to admit they need help or to ask for it. (Especially stiff upper lip Brits.) It feels so shaming.

Three years ago I was diagnosed with chronic depression. While this is more common than many might think, it is nevertheless excruciating to admit. I sought treatment (ergo the diagnosis), but for the better part of two years it crippled my ability to work. Unfortunately, just as I was feeling ready to get back in the saddle, work became pretty scarce.

I have a small income. (The UK portion of which has shrunk by 20% in recent months. Thank you, bloody Brexiters for eliminating the wiggle room that used to buy me the odd bottle of prosecco or a dinner out with friends.) I’m not starving nor am I threatened with becoming homeless. There are many, many people around the world who are in far more dire straits than I find myself. Which is why this feels so incredibly lame.

But here’s the thing. I’d like to get my hair cut before my birthday next month, but I can’t afford it. I’d like to get a gym membership (exercise apparently being good for depression), but I can’t afford it. There are books by some of my favourite authors coming out soon, but I can’t afford them. I’d really love to get back to the UK to see friends and family (or have a holiday somewhere else some other time in my lifetime), but I can’t afford it. (As for clearing myself of the debt dumped on me by my partner’s children, well, that is truly beyond my wildest dreams.)

So, here’s me.


How pathetic is that?

I’ve set up a PayPalMe account. I hate to ask (I really do), but if everyone I know chucked in a fiver (and perhaps even passed this on to everyone they know who might know me or just feel like performing a random act of kindness for a stranger), I might get a bottle of bubbly, the new Ian Rankin and a haircut for my birthday. It all depends on how appealing I am. You never know.

If you (or anyone you know) would like to help this poor writer get her hair cut, click here. (If, on the other hand, you have some writing or editing work that needs doing, bypss the link and contact me directly.)

Thanks for even considering it.

Sorry to be so lame.

From → Black dog diary

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