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Stephen Harper’s Christmas sermon: Why deny climate change?

December 25, 2012

harperxmas

Canada is blessed. God has given us so many things that other countries want. And it’s all just there for the taking. Above the ground we have trees galore, waiting to be chopped down, water waiting to be piped to California. In the ground we’ve got gold and silver, copper and iron, uranium and asbestos. The list is almost endless. And under the ground here in Alberta we have our greatest blessing – oil. And God has given us dominion over it all: everything we can see and everything we can survey, to do with as we please. It says so in Genesis.

Oh, I know there are some apostates, even here in Canada. People from the cult of Greenpeace and its ilk, who say we should conserve, rather than exploit God’s bounty. People like those pesky scientists who would have you believe that oil and coal are the devil’s work, put here to destroy our future. People who believe, like many of our unenlightened First Nations friends, that we do not inherit the Earth from our parents, but borrow it from our children.

To all those Doubting Thomases I say: I am right and you are wrong. My will be done. (Ed: Shouldn’t that be “Thy will be done”?) Again, you just have to look to the Bible. As St. Paul wrote in Corinthians, “every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.”

I believe this and I believe that the countries man has formed each represent a man. Canada is the man to whom God gifted boundless natural resources. China is one of many men God gifted with the ability to turn these natural resources into useful products made by workers who are grateful to make a dollar a day. (After all, trade unions are, as all right thinking people know, truly the devil’s work.) I am sometimes asked – although, not often – ‘Stephen, what if you’re wrong and the scientists you are so successfully muzzling are right?’ What if man-made climate change is real and leads, as many predict it will, to war, famine, pestilence and death? Surely, they say, these are bad things to which Canada’s exploitation of the tar sands will contribute? Should you not stop, before it’s too late? To them I say, oh, ye of little faith, of course man-made climate change is real and will lead to war, famine, pestilence and death. It’s already started.

And are these not the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse whose appearance signifies the coming of the Last Judgment, when, as we are told in Matthew and in the Book of Revelations, we, the faithful, will meet our maker? Why would I not do everything I can to speed the arrival of that glorious day? And so to you, my fellow members of the Christian and Missionary Alliance, I say, knowing that in our hearts we remain CRAP, keep voting Conservative. And may God bless Canada. ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

 

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