Goodbye

Whilst it may be true for some, I have come to the conclusion that it is not possible to teach this old bitch new tricks. 

Remember the guitar? 

The project – or new trick – taken on last summer with great enthusiasm and insane ambition. (Für Elise? What the hell was I thinking?) Friends who’d tried and given up warned me. Did I listen? Did I hell.

After several lessons over the summer with Ben, I’d just about mastered the fingering for three chords (even though I still couldn’t get my head around what chords actually were) and taught myself how to play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

Except, of course, when I played it for Ben, he just looked at me, said that wasn’t Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, picked up his own guitar and played it. Yeah, okay, but my version kinda sounded right, didn’t it? Or didn’t it?

Then came Halfway There in September and the realisation that, if I was ever going to learn Rita’s lines, I had to concentrate on the play and nothing else. Guitar lessons were put on hold.

After a week or two I shifted the guitar from the livingroom, where it mocked me, to a corner of the bedroom, where it has been sitting, untouched, ever since.

It’s all very well people telling me there are great guitar tutorials on YouTube. It’s like telling me there are great yoga sessions available on YouTube. Never going to happen.

I’ve been meaning for some time now to arrange to get together with Ben, admit defeat and return the guitar. Finally ran into him in the village yesterday and suggested meeting for a coffee today. He said sure, but he’d have to check his calendar. (Busy guy.) Sent him a message after I got home to confirm. “See you then,” he replied. Then a follow up: “PS If you don’t think you’re too into the guitar at the moment, I can get that out of your way.” And I wrote back: “Part of the reason to meet up is so I can let you find a happy, loving home for the guitar.” That got a heart as a response. Hope he does have a happy, loving home in mind for the guitar. It is really lovely.

And so it’s packed up, ready to go.

It needed a good dusting. And I really should have at least tuned it before I put it into its case, but the prospect overwhelmed me.

I have been defeated. You can’t teach an old bitch new tricks. C’est la vie.