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The next (potato) head of government?

September 20, 2021

Canada goes to the polls today to decide what the outcome will be of the totally unnecessary election called by Mr Haircut, who was hoping doling out pandemic cash has made him popular enough to win a majority.

Unfortunately for him, his cynical election call came just as Canada was doing as piss poor a job of evacuating Afghans who helped the Canadian military as the US and every other country was doing and as the pandemic was rampaging through the unvaccinated population.

Speaking of whom, when they haven’t been protesting at and blocking access to hospitals, the anti-vaxxers have been turning up at rallies and hurling abuse at the Prime Minister. 

All of which has left Mr Potato Head with an open door to justifiably accusing the PM of deciding to call an election based solely on self interest. Of course Mr Potato Head has also accused him, with little or no justification, of many other things.

If anyone in Canada was wavering and hoped the one English language debate would help them make up their minds, they were shit outta luck. The debate was a complete dog’s breakfast – the closest thing to a farce I’ve seen since the last time we were able to mount a panto. It seemed designed to allow everyone else to beat up on the Prime Minister, leaving him little chance to speak and the other leaders saying little other that what a terrible leader the Liberals have. (The Green Party leader did actually have a pretty good night and managed to make some pretty good points, but that’s pretty much beside the point as her party is very publicly imploding.)

Whilst not protesting at hospitals and Liberal rallies, many anti-vaxxers have decided Mr Potato Head isn’t rabid enough for them they have been rallying around the People’s Part of Canada (which could easily pass for the National Front in the UK or France). 

Although the PPC is once again unlikely to win a single seat, the surge in support is a sad reflection of the growth in dog whistle politics in this once reasonably sane country.

Of course, every vote that goes to the PPC is one that won’t be going to Mr Potato Head, so I suppose there is a tarnished silver lining.

In a surprise development, last week Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton pretty much endorsed the Prime Minister and Bernie Sanders threw his weight behind Jagmeet Singh, the leader of the New Democratic Party. Not sure how much, if any, sway there was with these endorsements. Most Canadians who like Sanders were probably going to vote for the NDP anyway. 

I voted early, taking my 99-year-old neighbour to an advance poll last weekend. Apparently nearly a third of eligible voters did the same. There was a much higher than average request for mail-in ballots – hardly surprising in the midst of an ongoing pandemic – which means we may not know by the end of the day who will be the next Prime Minister.

I’ve predicted since the unnecessary election call was made that when the votes were tallied the result would be pretty much the same – another minority government. At the beginning I thought it would be another Liberal minority, now I’m not so sure. There is a distinct possibility the next head of government will be Mr Potato Head, which is bad news if you give a fuck about poor people getting any help at all. 

Jagmeet Singh (to what I consider to be his ever lasting shame) has refused to rule out the possibility of the NDP working with a Conservative minority. I have two words for him: Nick Clegg. (Look him up, Jagmeet.) 

I’ve never had much time for Justin Trudeau (if I ever had any it evaporated when he decided to buy a pipeline project to help the Alberta oil industry – as if anyone in that province would ever vote for him), but if I had to choose between him and Mr Potato Head as the next Prime Minister, it’s no contest.

Mr Potato Head may not be quite as vile as his homophobic, anti-choice predecessor, but his core he’s got the same “fuck the poor, they don’t vote for us anyway” attitude.

The last thing I want or the country needs right now is another Blue Meanie government.

Fingers crossed.

From → Columns

One Comment
  1. Donna permalink

    Ugh. I’m trying to stay positive but the future looks worse than grim if Mr. Potato Head gets his way. Fingers well and truly crossed that it doesn’t happen….

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