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This definitely sucks

June 9, 2021

Some years ago Mike and I spent rather a lot of money on a new vacuum cleaner. Not crazy Dyson Super Model money, but a few hundred dollars. What we (or more particularly Mike, who suffered from allergies) were looking for was the hoover that had the best dust filters.

I’ll say this for the largish, stand up hoover we purchased (which takes up a fair bit of space in my closet): it does have good dust filters. And that’s all I’ll say, because as far as, you know, actually sucking things up, it sucks.

If I want to actually remove the cat hair from the rugs, before I hoover I have to “walk the rug”. If you’re unfamiliar with this procedure, it involves putting on a pair of shoes with a good tread and dragging your feet over the rug to pull up all the cat hair. Then and only then will the hoover we bought actually suck it up.

For the long time I’ve had it this is just something I considered a cross I had to bear.

Then a couple of weeks ago, at the wrap party for A Divine Comedy, Tom and Joe started talking for some reason about vacuum cleaners. Specifically the advantages of bagless models, but also about general efficiency. Tom was on Team Dyson, but Joe was waxing lyrical about some other type of which I’d never heard (and promptly forgot what it was called).

It wasn’t until a few days later that it suddenly occurred to me as I was hauling the useless hoover out of the closet, that it didn’t have to be a cross I had to bear. I could actually just give up and replace it.

Sent an email to Tom, asking which Dyson he’d been raving about and he told me it was a Big Ball Canister. $600, currently, I discovered, on sale for $450 at Lowe’s. Hmm. That was quite expensive.

Before I got around to pursuing a replacement, I went over to Joe’s to head out for a beach walk with Georgie. When I arrived he was just finishing off some housework: running his newly purchased Shark Rocket vacuum cleaner over the floors.

He’d done his research with Consumer’s Report and this model had been given a big thumbs up. I took one look at it and kinda (as much as you can with a domestic appliance) fell in love. It was so portable and could be taken apart for storage so wouldn’t take up a huge amount of space in a closet.

Normally $300, he’d found it on sale at London Drugs for $200. He still had the flyer in which he’d spotted the offer and gave it to me. Came home and the next day went online and ordered one. That was a few days ago. Yesterday, on my way to meet him for a walk I found a parcel notice in my mail box. It couldn’t be the new hoover already, could it? Checked with Joe, who said his had taken at least a week to arrive. So, whatever the parcel was, it wasn’t my new Shark. Stopped at the post office on my way home and – surprise! – it was the Shark.

Came home, got it out of the box and assembled it. Then I ran it over a small area of carpet which, bear in mind, had been hoovered not all that long ago. The small canister quickly filled up with everything the old hoover had completely failed to remove.

No more “walking the rug”. No more getting down on my knees to loosen pine needles from the carpet. This hoover definitely sucks – in the best possible way. I am in love.

From → Blog

  1. Donna permalink

    Ooh! Now that looks like a good hoover!

  2. Mariam Zama permalink

    So happy it sucks! I have a stain which I bought with a tax refund years ago, and do love it, but it’s big and heavy, and, worst of all, I have to take it apart every couple of months to clean the filters – otherwise it doesn’t suck… yours looks nice and small and light!

    • Mariam Zama permalink

      Was supposed to say I have a dyson… sigh

  3. krysross permalink

    A vacuum cleaner that actually works is a wonderful thing. I was once given, a very long time ago, a ‘Hoover Junior’, that was the most basic thing but deadly for lifting cat hair. My sister has it now, to deal with dog hair. Must be at least 90 years old and still going strong.

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