The golden turd

As much as you generally just want to punch them in the face, you have to admit sometimes they can make you laugh.

It wasn’t just the sight of this monstrosity being wheeled into the Florida conference centre, site of this year’s rabid right jamboree (otherwise known as CPAC or the Conservative Political Action Conference).

It was the adoring reaction it received from attendees, inspiring the New Yorker’s Andy Borowitz to post this photo on Facebook with the message: “CPAC Attendees Required To Blow Statue of Trump.” When I reposted it on my own Facebook page one of my friends was prompted to comment “Talk about kissing the ring” which also made me laugh, although I don’t think she was actually referring to a ring job.

I laughed again this morning when, thanks to this article in the Guardian, I discovered the golden ass was actually made in Mexico. (Of course it’s not actually gold. It’s fibreglass, painted gold. Bit like the man himself – except he’s so toxic he’d be asbestos painted gold.)

Which made me laugh again, wondering what former Mexican president Vicente Fox (who’s had a lot to say about the “rotting Halloween pumpkin” since 2016) would have to say about it.

(If you’ve somehow missed Fox’s delightful Wankmaggot roastings, do watch.)

The Wankmaggot himself will not appear until the finale tomorrow (hope his adoring fans remember to wear a Depends pad, as I’m sure the excitement will cause them all to pee their pants), but at yesterday’s kickoff they did get a fine (coked up?) performance from Turd Junior. He didn’t get the ecstatic screams he may have wanted when he bellowed, “How’s it going CPAC? Or I heard someone earlier phrase it a little bit better: TPAC – that’s what it feels like, guys!” (By “someone” presumably he means his dad?)

But Turd Junior hit the nail on the head. This weekend is the Trump Political Action Conference. Not even putting him in prison can stop the Wankmaggot. (I checked: despite the fact that in some states convicted felons lose the right to vote forever, there is nothing to prevent a convicted felon from running for president.)

There’s no way Turd Senior will dip into his own pocket to cover the cost of flying all over the country for rallies (as he did for four years on the taxpayer’s dime), but, if the tens of millions of dollars left over from his fundraising for his bogus legal challenges taught him nothing else, he knows there are plenty of suckers all too willing to have their pockets picked by him.

This clown is not going away.

You gotta grab your laughs while you can.