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Worst defence ever?

February 10, 2021

There’s an old Al Pacino film called And Justice For All. In it he plays a lawyer who is forced to defend a judge he cannot stand who has been charged with a violent sexual assault. Just as the trial is about to begin, the judge, who’s claimed innocence since his arrest, admits how much fun he had committing the crime. Al Pacino’s character must then deliver the opening remarks which he’s prepared. He gives it his best shot, he really does. And then this happens.

 

I was reminded of that scene yesterday as I watched the Wankmaggot’s lawyer Bruce Caster’s (for want of a better word) performance. It was, as Vanity Fair describes it, long, rambling and incoherent (click here for their full analysis), but at one point he pretty much said “my client is guilty as sin and should go straight to fucking jail”. Jaws dropped everywhere (no further, I suspect, than at Mar-a-lago). Caster’s only complaint was that this was a matter for the judicial branch, not the legislative branch. Not to worry, Bruce, I’m sure the Justice Department is on it.

Then there was lawyer number two, David Schoen, who went on and on and on, the only distraction offered his seeming inability to drink water without touching his head. What’s with the Wankmaggot and his minions, I wondered. Why can’t they just pick up a glass of water with one hand and take a sip? Okay, I felt a bit guilty for laughing after I checked online and discovered this is an Orthodox Jewish practice. But I didn’t feel that guilty. Schoen is, after all, the lawyer who was preparing to defend Jeffery Epstein before the sexual predator’s mysterious death in custody. (Oh, and in case you didn’t know, Caster was once on Bill Cosby’s defence team.)

Where did he find these guys? Well, obviously at the bottom of the barrel, given that no reputable lawyer was willing to go within a mile of the case. (To be fair, which I suppose I will be, they didn’t have much time to prepare as they only arrived on the scene after the Wankmaggot fired their predecessors last week when they refused to go with his stolen election defence.) Mind you, how much work are you actually going to put in when you know your client is almost certainly going to try to stiff you on your fees?

None of the commentators made the leap to And Justice For All, although a large number did talk about My Cousin Vinny. (Apparently yesterday was Joe Pesci’s 78th birthday, so a nice little nod to him.) I’ve never seen the film and thought perhaps I should, but it isn’t available on Netflix or Crave. Suspect that will soon be corrected.

The Democrats kicked off the day with a truly horrifying video of the events of January 6 (which Rand Paul, Marco Rubio and a number of other Republican senators refused to even look at), followed by impassioned testimony. They had half an hour reserved at the end of the day to rebut the remarks of the Wankmaggot’s lawyers. They didn’t bother to use that time. They didn’t need to do so. For any sane “jurors”, they evidence was a slam dunk.

In the end they gained a sixth sane Republican juror, making the vote to proceed 56-44. There is no secret miracle that will make the vote to convict a secret ballot. Nor is it likely that 16 Republican senators will all have to go to their grandmother’s funeral the day the vote is cast, thereby insuring a guilty verdict. I’d say they have to live with the shame, but clearly they have none.

From → Columns

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