There be monsters

I think I can safely say that the only highlight of last night’s presidential debate was this.

Hardly surprising that the Biden campaign is already selling t-shirts.

I just wish he’d said what I (and I’m sure a lot of the audience) was thinking: “Will you just shut the fuck up.”

The t-shirt cheered me up, but not as much as this, the shortest political commercial ever, released by the Biden campaign last week.

What a shit shower. So bad several reporters used those exact words in their post-debated coverage.

A lot of people I know gave up after ten minutes, but I am, as previously confessed, a political junkie. (Read: glutton for punishment.)

There were some obvious conclusions to draw, not that any of them were surprises. The current president of the United States simply cannot bring himself to condemn white supremacists. When invited to do so by Chris Wallace and Joe Biden, he instead blew his dog whistle and told the white supremacists to “stand by”. Jesus Christ Almighty. The current president simply will not commit to a peaceful transfer of power in January. (Ergo the “stand by” dog whistle.)

This man, the Tangerine Wankmaggot, isn’t just an empathy-free venal idiot. He is an actual monster. It’s as if Dr Frankenstein went into his lab determined to create a being who embodied all the worst elements of human nature and the American psyche.

I’ve tried, god knows I have. I’ve tried to understand how anyone can look at this despicable monster and say to themselves: “That’s my guy.” I’ve tried and I’ve failed. The only conclusion I can draw is that these wilfully ignorant people, the tens of millions of Americans who remain hopelessly devoted to this diseased prick, are monsters, too. It’s not a happy conclusion, but I see no other way of explaining the facts. (Yes, that’s right, Trumpheads, I used the F word: facts.)

If that thought depresses you as much as it depresses me, here’s a little something I stumbled across last night to cheer you up.

As I said when I shared this with friends, it’s a bit like last night’s debate – except the Wankmaggot did not have a shining moment. It’s also a pity Biden didn’t have a sonic screwdriver.