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Did he just say that?

May 24, 2020

The first image that popped into my head when I heard the news was this one.


Actually, it was more an image of Obama slapping himself on the head, but I couldn’t find one like that on Google.

Michelle: “Did he just say what I think he just said?”

Barack: “Yes, Michelle, Joe did just tell Charlemagne’s listeners that if they have a problem figuring out whether they’re for him or Trump, then they ain’t black.”

Michelle: “Oh, my God.”

The week had been going pretty well. By Biden’s (and I guess my) standards. Earlier he’d stated unequivocally that he’d cancel the Keystone XL pipeline. A couple of days later, when asked if he would consider, as Ford had done for Nixon, issuing a pardon from prosecution to allow the country to move on and heal, he’d said he absolutely would not. Clearly the week was going too well.

As I’ve previously said, I don’t know this for a fact, but I know it to be true: Obama had a deal with Hillary Clinton that when his term was done it would be her turn. Under no circumstances would Obama’s vice-president throw his hat in the ring after two terms (as is usually the case). I’m reasonably sure Biden could have beaten the Tangerine Wankmaggot in 2016, but, oh, well, never mind.

Can he beat him this November? I honestly don’t know.

If he’d worked on it for a week, Biden probably couldn’t have come up with a worse way to say what he did. It is a mystery to me why any African American, Latino, other minority or female elector of any ethnicity would vote for the Wankmaggot. It’s totally baffling. There are ways to eloquently and forcefully make this point. Or there’s the Biden foot in mouth way. Lord almighty.

Really, Dems? You could have had Elizabeth Warren or Kamala Harris or Corey Booker and this is what you came up with? I know. Joe comes with the Obamas. If anyone can get out the vote they can. (Not that it was a roaring success in 2016.) But how much mopping up do they have to do?

No wonder Andrew Cuomo’s name popped up in this (my favourite) pandemic spoof.


And on the lips of many other people in the past couple of months. Look at this guy! Doesn’t he look, you know, like a president should look in a crisis? Why, people ask themselves, can’t we have him?

Beating the Wankmaggot shouldn’t be difficult. Yes, he’s got his rabid 35%, but the rest of the country is tired of the ludicrous sociopath in the White House. Pretty much any candidate should be able to beat him. But, oh, lord, Biden isn’t making it easy. He needs to hurry up and pick a running mate who can garner some enthusiasm.

Of course all this presupposes there will actually be an election on November 3rd. That is a far from safe assumption. The Wankmaggot is going to do everything in his power (including putting the post office out of business to avoid a mail-in election) to prevent the pissed off population having their say. He knows exactly what’s waiting for him shortly after noon on January 20, 2021 if Biden wins: A guy in a suit from the Southern District of New York handing him a subpoena. If we’re really lucky, the guy from SDNY will be accompanied by a cop with handcuffs.

When all the conspiracy theories began bubbling to the surface about 9/11, I asked myself the key question: cui bono? On September 10, 2001 Dubya was on the fast track to becoming the least popular one-term president in the history of the United States. The “war on terror” (and a bucket load of Karl Rove dirty tricks) got him elected for a second term. So, if anyone stood to gain by the events of September 11, it was the President. Where’s that conspiracy theory?

The Wankmaggot may (with the possible of exception of his pal Bolsonaro) be the world leader with the worst response to Covid-19, but if he can use the inevitable second wave of the virus as an excuse to try to postpone the election (belatedly claiming to give a shit about the health and safety of the electorate) he’ll latch onto it like a Big Mac with a jumbo side of fries. Maybe the Wankmaggot (who doesn’t give a shit how many people on the planet die, as long as he gets re-elected) arranged the whole thing with the Chinese government.

I met up with some friends yesterday. (Yes, I know, very daring, but we are in the first stage of easing the lockdown.) Not surprisingly the subject of the coming US election (or lack thereof) came up. One friend, an American, confidently predicted a postponement. Which was when it occurred to me that elections, even federal elections, fall under the jurisdictions of individual states – thus the wide variety of voting machines and other prone-to-problems systems set up around the country. (What the fuck is wrong with counting paper ballots?)

“In theory,” I asked, “is there anything to stop, say, New York, California, Michigan and some other states going ahead with a postal vote to be counted on November 3rd?” (Assuming, of course, that there’s still a post office by then.) He thought about it for a moment and conceded that, no, there was nothing at all to stop them. “Wouldn’t that be interesting?” I said. There was general agreement that, yes, that would be very interesting indeed. (Although I suspect Cuomo would win New York as a write-in, which wouldn’t be particularly helpful.)

As the pundits have been saying since more or less day one in January 2017, the United States (and the rest of the world) can probably survive one term of the Wankmaggot. Gawd ’elp us all if he somehow manages to get re-elected.

From → Columns

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