Kimono my house

Which for some reason I have just suddenly remembered was the name of a Sparks album. Once upon a time I had all their albums. Now I have none. My friend Angelika and I saw them play at the Academy in New York and I managed to blag our way into the after party which was, of all places, in a Burger King in the west fifties. Ah, memories.

Anyway, come on over to my place. It’s neat and tidy and pretty clean. I even did the full wash of the bathroom floor, which requires stretching out on my stomach to get to the back, under the claw foot tub. That doesn’t happen every time I wash the bathroom floor. Carpet and floors all hoovered and swept, kitchen counters clutter-free. Everything ready for people to drop by.

Oh, hang on a second. We’re in quarantine. Nobody can (or will) drop by. Never mind. I appreciate it. Not so sure about Stella, cats not being known for caring too much about housework.

While I was stretched out on the bathroom floor I remembered I needed to contact the vet about getting more renal diet cat food. Floor finished, I rang them and asked what time they were closing. Four o’clock, the assistant told me. It was 3pm. I asked if they were open today. No, she said, it’s Good Friday. What? Oh, right. Easter. Is that still happening? I guess it is. So I got in the car and drove down to the vet’s office, picked up a big bag of the dry food Stella likes. Unfortunately she didn’t like any of the wet food options on offer, so I’m sticking with her regular variety of that. It’s more important that she eats rather than what she eats.

I was thinking of moving on to the actual spring cleaning today. You know, things like washing the windows, but, seeing as it’s a stat holiday and all (ha, bloody ha), I’ve decided to take the day off. (Unlike, you know, every other day I take off from housework.) As my 98-year-old neighbour Pat is fond of saying, you can’t rush these big jobs.

Instead I’m staging a lockdown break out, heading off to one of the island parks to go for a walk with my mate Joe and his lovely dog Lexi. We’re such rebels, Joe and I.

My fifteen minutes of writing are up, so I will leave you with the most famous of the songs from Kimono My House.