All change in September?

So…

As I mentioned, back in January, in the run up to attempting to stop smoking, I got a chest x-ray done, just to get an idea of how much damage I’d done over half a century of smoking. I was gobsmacked when the results came back as “all fine”. How was that possible? I asked for further investigation and my doctor made a request for a CT scan. That, of course, took months to actually happen.

When it eventually did a couple of weeks ago, the result was the same – lungs fine. What the hell? I guess I inherited my granddad’s genes. (He smoked roll ups from the age of 12 until he died of old age in his late nineties.)

That was the good news from the CT scan. There was other “incidental” news. Incidental images, it seems, are the things that show up out of focus near the area that is in focus. These incidentals were something that was probably nothing on my right breast and something that might or might not be anything around my heart. Mammogram booked for breast, bloodwork for heart.

I do not spend a lot of time staring at and assessing my breasts in the mirror, so it was a bit of a surprise, when it came time for the mammogram, to realise my left breast must be noticeably larger than the right, because it certainly felt the squeeze a lot more. The technician went away, came back, gave me a thumbs up – all normal breast tissue, off you go. Off I went. Doctor’s appointment. Blood pressure checked. All good. Bloodwork results discussed. All good – except… Oh, that pesky cholesterol.

Early in 2024, bloodwork revealed that my for-some-time-slightly-elevated levels of bad cholesterol were now elevated considerably more than slightly.I did faff around with chia seeds and other things for a while, but, predictably, it all fell by the wayside eventually. Well, now it seems my cholesterol is so high that if it goes up even a little bit, the doctor will want to put me on statins. Well, that ain’t going to happen.

The weight doesn’t help.

What weight? Well, it seems that since I last got on a set of scales in late March to find out how much my suitcase weighed, I have managed to put on 20 pounds. Guess I didn’t actually get away with all that French cheese and those baguettes and the increased amount of beer I have been consuming whilst playing darts and pool. (First hint? Tried to get into my shorts when it got hot and couldn’t get the zipper done up.)

I’ve been doing a LOT of research the past couple of weeks before launching myself next month into a major get fitter phase.

This is what the Mayo Clinic has to say about reducing bad cholesterol.

1. Eat heart-healthy foods

2. Exercise on most days of the week and increase your physical activity

3. Quit smoking

4. Lose weight

5. Drink alcohol only in moderation

Hmm.

Foods. Okay, a lot more salmon, avocados, nuts and seeds. (Other research reveals green tea is a big cholesterol buster. Have already started to drink quite a bit of that.)

Exercise. Believe it or not I signed up this month for a four-week course at the gym (Weightlifting for Women). At the end of the first session I was so confused I signed up for a one-on-one session. Core, alignment, pelvic muscles. Say what? Well, after four weeks, I’m kinda there. I’ve purchased a three-month gym membership starting on Monday. Happily (or perhaps sadly), my guy is also feeling the need to shed some pounds so I’m hoping this will turn into a gym buddy thing. Out of final session: make sure to consume small amount of protein before exercise and large amount afterwards. (More research needed for best sources of protein.)

Quit smoking. Yay! Already did that. Although I never say I have “quit”, only that I haven’t had a cigarette since January 31.

Lose weight. Well, that’s the plan folks. It’s all Mediterranean diet for me (she says, optimistically).

Drink in moderation. Oh, for fuck’s sake. Do I have to get rid of my tagline (“writer, thinker, smoker, drinker”) completely? I still do a fair bit of thinking, but I ain’t doing much writing, I’ve stopped smoking and now I’m supposed to more or less stop drinking? Apparently. Big shop on Wednesday (last Wednesday of the month islanders get a 10% discount on their purchases at the grocery store) included six bottles of no alcohol wine. I don’t know how long this will last, but it’s going to be an alcohol-free September.

I don’t know. It was all so much easier when I was relying on smoking and drinking killing me before I became too enfeebled to wipe my own backside. And then – surprise! – this marvellous man appears and living as long and healthily as possible suddenly seems like a good goal.

Anyway, anyway… Wish me luck.