Valentine dream

February 14, 2024

I’m pretty sure it didn’t actually have anything to do with the rapid approach of Valentine’s Day – a day which I have always hated. (Twice in the past week I’ve tried to arrange to do something today with someone, only to be told they couldn’t because, you know, it was Valentine’s Day. “Oh, silly me,” I’d reply, whilst thinking fuck Valentine’s Day.)

No, I’m reasonably certain it had everything to do with the realisation yesterday that next month it will be 13 years since Mike died. How is that possible?

Anyway, I had a dream about Mike last night. I don’t remember much about the dream other than one surprising detail: we were talking about getting married.

Mike had already been married (three times) when he and I met in 1992. I made it very clear from the beginning that I had no interest whatsoever in marriage and he never suggested it. As it turned out, I lasted longer than all three of his wives combined. (At a dinner party we had one night he overheard me saying to a guest that I was more likely to get pregnant than married. He mentioned this to me later, wondering if I was getting broody. No, I wasn’t. As I explained to him at the time, you can get pregnant by accident.)

Okay, I do remember one other thing about the dream. I remember that, as we were discussing it, I thought, ‘Well, that’s going to annoy Ian.’ (Ian being the son and executor who dumped tens of thousands of dollars of his dad’s debts on me because it was a joint line of credit, even though he knew the debt had been incurred solely by his father.)

Does that make it a revenge dream? No, it doesn’t, because that really was an aside. (Or perhaps a bonus.) It was nice to see him.

Unlike me, Mike loved Valentine’s Day.