Alarmed

Maisie and I startled awake in the middle of the night by a loud, blaring noise.

What the hell? Is it my mobile? A tsunami warning? A nuclear launch? Honestly can’t think of anything else that could possible merit such a racket. Check phone. Nope nothing there.

Then I realise it’s the smoke alarm. Holy shit! 

Jump out of bed and turn a lamp on. Nope. No smoke, no fire. Why is the alarm going off? Drag a chair from the dining room and grab the broom. Climb on chair, whack alarm. It keeps blaring.

Oh, wait a second. I know how to make it stop. Turn on overhead light, go to breaker panel. Can’t read it. Get my glasses. Run my finger down the list. Yes, there it is: 14. Switch it off. Noise stops. Go back to bed.

In a quarter of a century that alarm has gone off three or four times and every one of those times it was because my friend Krys was visiting and she was cooking a steak. We finally figured out a way to avoid triggering the smoke alarm. It involves a cookie sheet. (Don’t ask.)

Now the bloody thing is going off in the middle of the night for no reason. I can’t even take the battery out (not that I should if I could), because it’s wired in. And I can’t just leave the breaker switched off (not that I should), because it’s also the breaker for the stereo.

Flip the breaker this morning. Short blast, but then it stops. Phew.

Please let this be an inexplicable one off. Please don’t let this start happening every night, because that means I will have to (a) find an electrician and (b) pay him or her god knows how much to fix the problem. Fingers crossed